Dear Spanglish producers,

How do you make "the sandwich" Adam Sandler tries to eat/where can I get one?

I tried today and it just didn't seem as amazing as that one was. My friends and I have been wondering for about 3 years now.

Love,
Karen

Dear February wind chill,

Just because your month gets gypped out of a few days each year, doesn't mean you need to come back and visit in late march.

It's rude to spring and just plain unnecessary.

Love,
Karen

Dear Kareoke singers,

Things that are not suggested: two awkward white girls attempting to sing "American Boy" by Kanye West and Estelle.

I'm not sure what part of that seemed like an amazing idea. But it wasn't friendly for the rest of us.

Kind regards,
Karen

Dear Tom Foolery,

Looking forward to a fabulous weekend with you and Shenanigans.

Love,
Karen

Dear NY gyms,

Can you provide a discounted month to month "jobless in the recession" special with no activation fee?

My bank account and caloric intake would appreciate it.

Love,
Karen

Dear Ellen and producers,

How come in some places you come on after Oprah and some places before? And sometimes, you come on at a random hour that doesn't even make sense?

Love,
Karen

Dear Jobs,

I feel like we are playing hide and seek.

Ollie ollie oxen free.

Love,
Karen